Men’s Health Magazine, milking the success of its “Eat this, not that” line of books, provides a grotesquely entertaining list of the 30 worst foods in the country. Most, as you can imagine, are from fast food establishments.

For each food, there’s also a suggested alternative that is more healthful, but, as Albert Einstein once said, everything is relative. For example:

Not exactly a perfectly healthy alternative. But sure beats 9 grams of trans fat and a days worth of sodium in one dish.

The list counts down from #30 to the #1 worst food in the US. Itching to die which food came in at #1? We’ve saved you 29 clicks.

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